Tunnel Rat

Chapter 355: I like Skulls

The next round started and Milo dodged immediately, having no idea what 'legal' trick Mako would come up with next. He looked horrible, his clothing scorched and burned and some of his fur blackened. But his Near Fiendish Regeneration was super-charged with Battle Cheese and he wasn't feeling the pain. The Cheese Masters of the Hollows had worked for generations to weaponize their snacks, and Milo could easily see how soldiers could become addicted to them. Mako pulled something from her storage ring, upset to find only a long string of firecrackers, having forgotten how many bombs she'd used at the last big party. She tossed them and the crowd roared in pleasure as Milo scampered for safety and ended up holding onto the top of the cage above Mako.

They cheered more when the next instant, thirteen glowing skulls fell all around her, exploding and turning her into a pincushion with hundreds of slivers of bone stuck into her skin. Mako's ears were ringing and she was knocked into the air by the multiple explosions. Milo swung by his tail from the top of the cage and hit her in the head with his weapon, a spike puncturing an eardrum, the smaller spikes penetrated her skull for only a quarter inch. The blow wasn't fatal, but it maddened the Scavenger from the pain. She stood screaming at Milo and waving her cutlass in the air. He dropped his last three bombs to distract her and swung to the ground.

Mako was bleeding now, and breathing hard, her anger growing as her opponent failed to die, and worse, cheated as well as she did. The crowd was roaring and the referee was shouting, the crowd too loud for the small bell to be heard by the fighters in the cage. "End of the round, stop fighting you idiots. Mako stomped to her corner and poured another bottle of 'Whiskey' down her throat. Captain Cuda approached Milo's corner. "What the hell were the skulls?"

"Why, nothing illegal. I'm surprised you've asked. Just some simple explosives. No cataclysmite and no spell. Just a triggered rune like Mako's sword. I'm so happy to find out that triggered runes are legal."

"And you just happened to have all those in a storage device?"

Professor Tallsqueak grinned at the referee. "I like skulls."

The crowd liked them too. Where there had been only a few people shouting for Milo, now his cheering section was growing and equal to Mako's fans. They still thought he'd lose, but he was putting up a good fight. It only added to Mako's anger. "Hand me the zerkerjuice."

Beluga pulled out a bottle of dark rum. "Careful, boss. Don't take more than a few sips or you'll be out of control."

Mako laughed, "I'm barely in control now. I need to kill someone. I feel all torn up inside and somehow that bastard is cracking my bones. I even broke a toe when I kicked him. I'm past caring, Beluga. I'm going to paint the cage with his guts." Beluga could only watch as she chugged half the bottle before her hand started shaking and she dropped it. Roaring incoherently, she charged Tallsqueak and Captain Cuda hurriedly hit the bell, just before Mako hit her opponent.

Milo had turned his head to talk to Brutus and turned back too late to avoid Mako's berserk charge across the ring. He was slammed into the side of the cage hard, and if not for his hard-runed bones, would have lost half of his ribs. Mako hadn't even drawn her sword and simply started hitting him in the face and body, over and over. Milo couldn't get away, or draw his weapon, so he used his claws and tail.

Milo would find out about that the next day. For the rest of the day, he sat in Mako's big chair at the Captain's table, dozing, slurping down tea, and red jelly bean potions, and eating puffcakes. He had a gnawing feeling inside, and Bleusnout noticed him eyeing the piece of cheddar that he'd carefully placed in the center of the table.

"My cravings are back. I thought I was over them."

Bleusnout shook his head, "We never get over them. I was in horrible shape after what Rifkin did to me. Smiley and I kept a watch on each other for two months, and Harry watched both of us. Luckily, we had Larry for inspiration. If a cheese fiend can curb his addiction, the rest of us can as well. Which brings me to my next question. What are you planning to do with this huge building?"

"Oh, give it back to the people the Sharks stole it from. They'll use it for a bathhouse and washing clothes, although it's s lot bigger now. Why?"

The chef pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "You have a very nice kitchen at that end of the building, and a huge basement that would be ideal for growing mushrooms and making cheese. And sadly, far too many whelps running wild up here that need a firm hand to help them with their urges."

"You want to start a Hollow?"

"Ah, no, not nearly so ambitious. I want to start a restaurant and serve food from the Hollow. Brutus can supply me with the mushroom flour I need from the Hollow and I can grow my artisanal varieties of fungus and make a little cheese. My main goal is to foster trade with Limburger Hollow and have a place to teach our values to the wild urchins running through these streets. Frankly, I'm surprised half of them haven't become cheese fiends already."

That worried Milo, "Cheese fiends would be bad. Very bad, in so many ways." He had no idea if players would still be in control, hopefully not! "Oh, wait! That means I'll be able to have puffcakes whenever I'm here!"

Bleusnout nodded to him, "And attend classes. I'll be starting the next one tomorrow morning." He pulled out a copy of It Takes a Hollow to Make the Cheese and handed it to Milo. "Refresh yourself, I'd added new material. You'll be assisting me, of course."